How many of us can admit to ourselves that we feel (or at some point in our life have felt) hatred towards men and felt disappointed with their actions?
Most of us have come across heartbreak, cheaters, liars and other dysfunctional men. We’ve perhaps felt used, abused and manipulated. Causing us a lot of pain. Quite often we never fully recover from this pain, so we keep carrying it with us in life, making it more infected the older we get.
I want to raise this topic about how us women may relate to men, particularly in the jet-set world.
There is so much disappointment going on, so many JetsetBabes have become revenge craving women putting themselves on a pedestal, thinking that men owe them while their primary interest is to gain materialistically from them. The focus is on “How much?” and “What can I get?”
While I know about the fact that women are biologically wired to value finances and status when they look for a partner. There is nothing wrong with that, and we have all the rights to have our priorities. My concern is more related to the point when it turns in to an obsession, one that I frequently come across in the jet-set world.
Let me clear one thing before I continue…
I’m fully aware that men do the same thing to women, with the difference that it’s about sex and they probably do it on a larger scale. Men obsess about getting laid and objectify women for their own selfish pleasure.
I’m therefor not pointing fingers here as both have sexes can have “bad agendas” towards each other. But today I want to focus on us women in the jet-set scene because I’ve noticed something important that I want to discuss.
Women are biologically wired to want to have stability and commitment. While I know women who prefer being single, a majority of us actually want to find love.
We want to have a relationship with a good man who will take care of us, love us and treat us well. We want someone we can trust and who will make us happy. It’s our instinct of wanting security.
Unfortunately, many women who have the “What can I get out of you?” materialistic approach, end up either single or with bad men.
They shoot themselves in the foot and they are often wounded from the past. To protect themselves from getting hurt, they want to gain as much as possible from the man.
There could be many reasons behind:
Perhaps they don’t want to feel used. Perhaps they already are prepared that the man will hurt them in the end, so they do this out of compensation not to feel like a fool. Perhaps this is the consolation prize for the pain men have caused them.
Men with good intentions get put off because they are not stupid and they have feelings too. Instead, only the players remain who are in to this thing of playing games and not being serious.
So this becomes a vicious circle.
Wounded women who carry disappointment in men, to protect themselves, they put on an attitude that ruins their chances of meeting that man that will improve their perception of the male species.
Instead, they keep meeting more jerks, and making their disappointment grow stronger and stronger, creating their defense mechanisms to become more brutal. Welcome to the world of women who have lost all hope and trust in men and now they want payback…
But this approach never leads to a happily ever after. Can you see why?
Some women have a firm belief that they are smart when they do this, but from my point of view, they only sabotage their chance of meeting a nice guy, that high-quality man who is serious and won’t hurt them. The person they actually need in to have in their life.
But it’s difficult to create a real loving relationship with someone who is only focused on what they can get and treat the relationship like a game of $$$. So good guys stay away.
I was in these shoes for a short period in my life.
After having been cheated on, hurt too many times, only meeting guys who were objectifying me, I started to objectify men. I only cared about how they could take me forward in life, what they had to offer and how I could benefit from them. What was the point of wishing for more? Only tears and headache would come out of it. So I felt in control and powerful having with this mindset, thinking I was better off this way.
Eventually, I got over it, and I learned a lot from this phase. I understood that I was only closing myself down from getting what I truly wanted. That this self-protection was pushing any high-quality men away from me. I was single for a long time. After a while, I did therapy. In therapy I was working a lot with my trust issues, insecurities and defense mechanisms and got my first breakthrough after 10 months.
2 months after my breakthrough I met the man I’m in a relationship with today, a person who is completely different from any man I’ve previously been with. This is someone who is genuine and what we have is very real and very healthy. My therapist told me that if I would had met him earlier, in my previous state, there could have been a big possibility it wouldn’t have worked out between us because of my emotional wounds.
It’s difficult to be ready for love when you are carrying so much of the past with you and constantly ruining your present moment.
I’m all for girl power and empowering other women, but I want women with similar issues to be cautious if they are still single or with bad men. Have a think if your strategy is really doing you well?
You might be hitting the jackpot in the material world, but what about your real world?
Not all men are bad. Good men exist. Sometimes we only get exposed to the bad ones, which is why we think that there are no good ones out there. Sometimes we don’t even see the good men, no matter how many are standing in front of us, because of our disbelief. But all this can change. It will change when you will change, which is why I encourage anyone to go through a process of self-healing.
Forgive and let go of the past. Accept the fact that love is never risk-free; we will always gamble with our hearts in this game. But to win, we have to allow ourselves to become vulnerable and let go of trying to control what’s happening around us. To win we have to risk – one never goes without the other.
So open yourself up to a future. Believe that there is one. Because once you genuinely do that, your future might come to knock on your door, and that’s when you’ve hit the real jackpot. Nothing tastes better than real love and a healthy relationship. No material stuff can ever compare.
Welcome to the new category; “Love Life.” I will be posting more on elite dating and relationships with the focus on how to get and build a relationship with a high-caliber man. In my experience, they differentiate a bit from the average Joe, so it can be useful for any JetsetBabes to get these insights. Stay tuned.
And one more thing. If you found this post useful, perhaps you can share it with your friends, maybe it will help somebody who needs this information. Thank you.