“Gold digger” – I feel like this word has become overly used.
From the beginning I personally associated it only with women who are money oriented and could marry anyone with a thick wallet – no matter if they loved or cared for the person or not!
Hardcore money hunters basically!
But now I feel this word starts to become used for almost any girl in the jet set scene, like a cursing men in particular like to use when they want to protect themselves.
Any girl in the jet set world will at some point get the stamp #golddigger because of whatever BS reason people come up with. Let me give you some good examples of what I have heard. They call her gold digger…
- Because she wants to find a husband who has a successful career
- Because she hangs out with wealthy people
- Because she lets men pay for her (note: they are the ones who offer!)
- Because she has an expensive taste and enjoys the finer things in life
- and so on…
Gosh, I can’t hear another stupid reason why someone is a gold digger, because it just doesn’t make any sense to me anymore.
(I’m talking only about the mild reasons, not the ones that may have a valid point about hardcore gold digging girls)
There seems to be a modern clash with something that has been with us since ancient history.
Let’s go back in time.
The woman was the birth giver and the caretaker. Her mission was to get impregnated with the best possible DNA carrier out there who would also provide for her and the offspring. She needed help with acquiring food, shelter and safety. The man was her helper, the same way she was his helper of reproducing and carrying on his genetic code.
The woman is the caretaker.
The man is the material provider.
At least if we look to the very beginning of the the human species.
Obviously we are now living in a modern world but I believe this is exactly what makes it clash.
We are slowly departing from the old thinking that men should be the provider and woman the caretaker, yet we can not fully let go of the many years of programming we have instinctively within us.
So back to the gold digger debate.
My point is why are we often to judge a girl because she is, in example, searching for a man in a “wealthy category” rather than “the poor category”?
Why is that such a sin? (Let’s refer back to the point that it has been an instinct for the woman to find the best possible provider for her and her offspring) I mean logically speaking, don’t you actually understand her action?
In my personal opinion, I think true love should always be more important than anything from the material world.
If you fall in love with a poor man, then figure the finances out together and live happily ever after on what you have.
No biggy, loves comes first!
Recently I have come across many women with a totally different outlook on life. The types of women people like to judge as gold diggers.
These women are not in to the whole “love shenanagans” the same way other hopeless romantics are (like me).
They see men as the traditional provider and marriages as a cooperation to a steady lifestyle.
They don’t want to necessarily be with a man because of some kind of love story but because they want to have a financially safe environment which they value more than love. That gives them genuine happiness, this form of security.
At first my inner judger woke up and wanted to slag these women off as gold diggers, but then I told myself “who am I to slag anyone off just because they don’t share my fantasy?”.
People have different views on life, different aspirations – should we stamp them as gold diggers aka bad people?
The same goes for other types of girls, let’s take aspiring Jet set Babes who aim higher than the “ordinary lifestyle” and who seeks herself to the luxury life of jet setters.
She is the type with an expensive taste and a hunger for the finer things in life. Is she a gold digger? Or is she only allowing herself to live her personal fantasy?
Or the girl that happily accept’s when a man paying for her or spoiling her with gifts when he is kindly offering. Is she a gold digger because she accepts the actions taken from the man while he is getting his ego validated by providing for her?
If I may continue to refer to the whole DNA speech, then we have to talk about the male instinct of wanting to provide. Many men get emasculated when they are not able to provide anything for the woman.
Usually these are the types of men who like to curse women as “gold diggers” because they feel she is claiming something he cannot provide to her.
Which is probably extremely painful for the male ego, because it is an attack to an instinct so deeply rooted in him.
My point here is to make some kind of understanding why some women are money oriented.
It is not because she is a bad person who is unethically greedy, but she is a person who just wants the best for herself.
And we just have to accept that for some people “the best” equals in material things.
I know it might be provocative if you do not share the same opinion, but we need to stop being so aggressive in terms of “what is right and what is wrong”.
Honestly, there is not right and wrong in this world, it is just an illusion of our own ego’s and opinions programmed by society.
If a woman values material service from a man over anything emotional, can we try be more understanding instead of slagging people off?
We do not need to agree or share the same path, but just a little more of “hey people have different journeys in life”.
I guess a reason why I am writing this is because this understanding is very new to myself. I have been slagging certain types of girls off until I started thinking outside my own box.
I do not want to slag anyone off anymore because I find it important to dive in to how other people reasons and truly understand them first, before involving any personal opinions.
Once we truly accept the fact that we are all so different, each individual is in different stages and paths of life, on different journeys then maybe some proper humble-ness may happen. I hope so. The world is becoming far too judgemental in my opinion.
BUT, I still must say I find that there is a difference between certain types of gold diggers; We have the mild ones and we have the hardcore ones.
I still have difficulties understanding the journey of the true hardcore types (like the girls who are too lazy to work and just want to find someone who can pay their bills, or the girls who are so hungry for money they would literally do anything for it).
But maybe one day once I reach my full peace, love and understanding – I will understand them too. 🙂