My classy coaching and etiquette guidance continues… Some of it you may already know, some may be new…
Regardless, it’s always very useful to freshen up your memory and re-assess your current behavior. I personally always do that, even though I know all these things inside out already. But it’s easy sometimes to get lazy and fall into old habits that are not beneficial for the jet-setting path. But if you want to level up in life, you need to become classy as it’s all about the image as a true JetsetBabe.
10 Things To Avoid If You Want To Be Classy
1. Avoid wearing too much bling, costume jewelry & anything fake
If you’re not on the level yet where you can afford expensive jewelry, my advice is to avoid accessorizing too much! Keep it simple. Don’t wear the plastic costume jewelry you buy on the high-street – it’s too obvious it’s not real gold/diamonds etc.
If you want to wear some jewelry, keep it tasteful and get something discreet from a midrange (or higher) jewelry shop. Classy women wear pearls and diamonds (never too big), so make sure to put that on your Law of Attraction wish list to attract for your future.
2. Avoid slouching, harsh or masculine movements
A classy lady is a lady that carries herself with a feminine posture. Backs should be straight, chest up, neck long and her movements contained. Don’t be the “tom-boy” who is aggressive in how she stands, walks and talks. Same goes for slouching and posture in general.
Keep reminding yourself every time, everywhere; straighten out your back, move delicately, be feminine. If you’re finding this hard, you might have to exercise your core and back muscles, so they don’t get too tired keeping you up straight. Dance classes like ballet and ballroom dancing help to teach you the feminine posture properly. Otherwise, pilates and barré classes can work as great sporty but graceful substitutes.
Try imitating gracious women from movies and copy their movements as much as possible. Practice in mirrors and film yourself on camera to analyze your results.
3. Avoid finishing your food
If you’re dining in elegant places and want to appear more ladylike, don’t finish everything on your plate. The only exception would be if you’re at a gastronomic experience where portions are tiny, you should always leave something behind. Finishing everything, so it looks like you’ve licked the plate, doesn’t come across as very elegant. Perhaps it’s more important when you’re on a date or in a social (upscale) settings, and less so if you’re eating out casually with your BFF.
While people won’t think you have poor table manners if you finish everything on your plate, it’s just the overall impression – it just looks better. Classy women are never gluttonous!
4. Avoid being loud and obnoxious (or talk with slang)
The problem with people who are very loud and obnoxious is that they don’t always realize they are. It requires a significant amount of self-reflection to admit that you’re a little bit too much. You don’t need to be quiet and characterless as a mouse, but you should never shout, use offensive language, laugh loudly so the entire room can hear you, and so on…
If you know, you might be the person who is “a little bit over the place,” try to tone these qualities down in you. If you’re the one who gets excited easily and loses control, then make a reminder to “check in with yourself” once every 15min and compose your energy a little. Take a step back when you feel you’re letting loose too much. You can still have a good time, express yourself flamboyantly while being sophisticated. Just think less noise, smaller movements, and you’ll be chic!
5. Avoid eating without utensils (or only with a fork)
In a casual society, we’re used to grabbing food on the go, eat pizza with our hands and devour food in a hurry. True class and how you got raised, gets put on display with your table etiquette. When it’s tempting to take the easy way out by grabbing a spring roll with your fingers or indulge in your main course using only the fork – it doesn’t leave a classy impression.
Women who make sure to use proper utensils (and insist on using them, even when others choose to take the sloppy road) will appear more high-end than their counterparts. It will look like you’re well-bred and educated, and that’s what you want your lady-like image to signal.
(Note, an exception can be made for salads. If the ingredients are in bite-size pieces, then you may eat it with a fork only)
6. Avoid rejecting what’s being offered to you by the host
If you’re invited somewhere where food and drinks are being offered, and the host is the one serving you – never decline. It’s considered impolite to do so. Perhaps you’re on a special diet or you’re not drinking alcohol, whatever reason you might have to decline, it’s none of the host’s business. In fact, don’t bore people with your lengthy explanations and save everyone the hassle of just accepting what’s offered to you.
It’s okay for you not to eat or drink of what’s been given to you, you can just pretend like you’ve had a taste. If you’re on a special diet and you know there won’t be any food options for you at the event, make sure to eat at home prior.
7. Avoid lying and getting caught
There is nothing more embarrassing or unclassy as being caught in a pretentious lie. I do think it can be okay to spice up a story to make it fit more with your image, but going all-in with lies where you know there is a possibility of getting caught is a big No-No.
It might be tempting to tell people you went to Harvard or live in the poshest area in town, but it can bite you in the back when reality pays you a visit!
These things happen more frequently than you think, especially these days when information is so accessible and word of mouth too! Don’t be the girl who draws up this fancy background story, but turns out it was all a trailer park. If you have something to hide, hide it. But don’t create master lies that will put you in a terrible spotlight if getting caught. Classy women can talk around things they don’t want to be mentioned or downplay it all altogether.
8. Avoid whining, complaining & being a drama queen
All this is juvenile or belongs to the character of someone uneducated. Surely, it’s okay to share your personal frustrations with your inner circle, but nobody wants to sit and listen for hours to your drama, complaints or general rants. (And especially if that’s what you bring to the table on a regular basis!) Oh gosh…
Spare acquaintances from this headache too, nothing is interesting when indulging in negativity even if it temporarily makes you feel better. Don’t be so selfish to think people owe this to you and deal with your own issues instead of unloading it on others. It’s very rude behavior and signals poor manners. Classy women focus on the positive.
9. Avoid being the last person to leave
It doesn’t look good if you’re one of the last to leave a party, event, a bar, club or similar. Whether you’re drunk or not, it ruins the classy image of yours. If you’re serious about polishing your image and want to present yourself as a respectable lady, then being the last to leave any event just looks desperate. Classy does not equal desperate.
There is nothing wrong with having a good time and enjoying oneself, but there is also the option of enjoying your day-time (which is a classier time of the day to indulge in). Be strategic and think about your image. Stay long enough for people to acknowledge you, leave before you become the decorum in the place.
Sometimes when you keep your appearance short, you create more mystery around your presence which is quite beneficial for your classy image. Anna Wintour is a great example, she goes out often (Vogues Editor in chief must network and socialize you know!) but she only stays for 20 minutes, never drinks and always in bed by 10:15 pm. If that’s too rigid for you, then make a rule only to stay 2 hours. That’s more than enough to socialize properly without looking like the crazy party girl.
10. Avoid namedropping, bragging & trying hard to look good
When it comes to creating a classy image for yourself, it’s important to note that it has to be done delicately and never in someone’s face. Subtle, without people noticing your agenda.
I’m sure you’ve come across people that are trying to make a “somebody” out of him/herself by namedropping and bragging. Have you ever considered that person elegant? They may be dressed properly and carry sophisticated body language, but their behavior ruins everything. It’s a desperate way for validation when people are eager to let you know the status-filled details.
Don’t be that person. Don’t make it obvious to people that you’re trying to level up in life. Be discreet and private just like the rich people are. That signals class and that you’re one of them, not some newbie that’s easily impressed.
Image development is everything when you want to re-invent yourself and upgrade your life. I’m thankful to all the people who bought my ebook “How to be classy,” and for those who’ve been asking, it’s no longer for sale. It will re-appear as study material for my jetsetschool.com, where I will also be covering more in-depth the topic of personal branding.
That’s very much the next step for any aspiring (or already) JetsetBabe, as transformation truly happens after you learn how to position yourself cleverly on the jet-set scene. Image development is there for vital and something I will be talking a lot about in my upcoming video course, where classy is still the main ingredient of a successful JetsetBabe. Go here to register your interest.