The Gold Digger Debate

Google+ Pinterest LinkedIn Tumblr +


The Gold Digger Debate

Once in a while I like to touch on this provocative topic about gold diggers and money oriented women. It would be strange not to bring it up since my blog is about Jetset Babes – girls who surround themselves in wealth. My previous post on this topic.

I have over the years changed opinion, as I started off like everyone else thinking gold diggers are bad people who suffer from low intelligence. The way men have always spoken badly about money oriented women, I was sure to speak poorly of them too.

Who is actually a gold digger?

People seem to have various definitions of it.

For some, a girl is a gold digger just because she hangs around rich people, for others she is a gold digger if she doesn’t split the dinner bill when she is out on a date.

I think as a general rule, the word gold digger means someone who is interested in meeting a wealthy man so that she can benefit from him.

The Gold Digger Debate

Men started this topic to bully women

I will defend women who take the mans status and wealth in to consideration when choosing a partner.

I think it’s unfair that there is a trend in society which says that women who care about the finances of a man, should be labelled as gold diggers and seen as bad people.

Because you know what actually makes me annoyed?

Insecure men started this trend of talking bad about women who take wealth & status in to consideration when choosing a partner. If we look today on who it is that complain the most, it’s actually the “loser” guys who don’t have much to offer to the table. Because of their insecurities they want to bring women down so they feel better about themselves.

Sadly, other females join the bullying club and do the same to their competition instead of backing each other up like true sisters. Insecure men and competing women are the ones who keep the gold digger judgement alive.

But what about sex-obsessed men?

Second thing that really annoys me, is that it’s very tabu for a woman to choose a partner because of status & wealth, but it’s not tabu for a man to choose a woman based only on his interest in having sex with her. Wtf?!

If you think about it, men and women are different species. We have totally different genetic code and we are programmed to act and think differently for many complex reasons. Men get away with SO MUCH. They get away by being extremely superficial and judgemental characters who have only one thing in mind: SEX.

But as soon as a woman is open with her interest in financial security then she is looked upon like a bad person.

If we would speak to the extreme, why can men treat women as sex-objects but god forbid if a woman would treat a man like a wallet??? It’s the same thing but different.

The Gold Digger Debate


Science proof our genetic code

There has been many years of science done on the male and female brain. Both scientific studies have been compared and we can clearly see that we have millions of years of genetic programming in our DNA. It’s something we actually have little or no control over and this programming is there for complex but valid reasons.

Here are some quotes from the book “The Female Brain” that I read on my kindle.

The Female Brain


The Female Brain


The Female Brain


The Female Brain


Gold digger debate Gold digger debate


A woman has a limited amount of eggs of which can get impregnated. Of course she needs to be cautious with whom she gets inseminated by. She needs to choose a man who is in good condition so she can get healthy children, but also someone who can provide for her and her offspring when she is vulnerable after a pregnancy and not able to hunt down resources.

These are our basic instincts.

However because we live in an era of materialism, these instincts have moved away to a whole new level – hence gold digger became such a bad term.

What I’m trying to say is, combine our genetic programming together with the modern materialistic world that we live in today – and of course many women become very money oriented, but that’s because we live in a money oriented society.

My summary

I think it’s time to take science in to consideration. Society has to be more understanding to who we really are and how we are built. I want to stand up for women and I think it’s time for us women to empower each other instead of pushing each other down by joining the male bullies.

This is the same as calling other women (who like sex) for sluts. Why do we do this, seriously? I don’t want to call other women gold diggers because I understand now where it all comes from. Don’t be so judgemental, don’t be so hard on others.

But of course, there is always going to be extremes. The same way I don’t think there is anything good with a man who is treating women as sex-objects, I don’t think women should treat men as wallets either. Using people is not cool, so sex or money hunters of that extreme is not okay in my personal opinion.

With this post I’m not trying to say that women should now only rely on men in terms of finances etc and not become independent by accumulating their own wealth.

Of course not! I think we need more women in power who are financially strong as the world is already extremely male dominated.

BUT, not every woman wants that in life. There are types of women who want the man to take care of everything related to money so that she can focus on other things like family, home etc. What’s wrong with that?

It would be great if this world could get a little bit more humble. We need peace, love and understanding – NOT bullying, judging and constant negative talk about one and another.


Why do you think beautiful women go for wealthy men?

Because they know they can.

Women want to be comfortable, they want to create the best possible life for themselves. If they can get any man in this world, why look for someone who cannot provide anything to them? Love is possible to find in any human being, rich or poor. For that reason focusing the search in the wealthy department is only a strategy in to achieving what you know you have the capacity for.

You don’t need to agree with my opinions, but I think each and everyone should have an extra think next time they bash girls off as gold diggers.



About Author

Anna Bey is the founder of JetsetBabe and School of Affluence - and online educational platform helping women achieve elegance and get an affluent life. Visit for more info! P.S Don't miss her Youtube channel & Instagram.


  1. I so agree with you! This is something like instinct and I am absolutely okay with that. As long as woman do not degradete herself to a toy which works for money.

    I am escort companion and I do not do exactly what man wants. I will do only if I like and want. But damn, that hate around it! Uglier or cheaper “colleagues” are bullying me online for the fact that I ask for way more then they do and that I have different conditions. They are lying about me. Instead – as you said – act like sisters. I never had problem in high society, as there are so many women which came there over work as companion. This job is like secret which everyone know but no one say loud. But between regular people? Absolutely different situation…

    Even though now I am in love with someone absolutely different then world I am oriented, I realize that I do not “match” there as much, as to world full of fakeness and money. But I want to enjoy this beautiful life full of joy and love, untill he do not realize that me and he will never work together, because of our personalities but mainly – his family which is Christian.

  2. Jetsetter UAE on

    Well, I think there is nothing bad about wanting financial security in a relationship. World without money is a tough place. Women can make their own money too, but it makes sense to pick at least a financially responsible husband who has a chance to generate moderate income. The country where I come from is fairly rich, but in the end there is a lot of people and families living on welfare benefits. I think, in my country finances are too much of a taboo. It would make sense for parents to tell their children how much money actually matters, instead of pretending that it is none of importance.

    Well, I find it ridiculous that in my home country too women call woman a gold digger if she expects that a man would foot the bill (usually less than 20 euros) in the restaurant. Anyway, I do not think a woman is a gold digger in that case, because nobody would prefer to see a boring and uninteresting (moderate or low-income person) only to get a 20 euros lunch every now and then. How cheap they think women are.

    I do not think picking a husband only for purely financial reasons is a good idea, because I believe there has to be more than money in it to work out. However, money is important or at least the fact that a man in the relationship is able to take care of his own finances. There are too many stories how men do not bother to go to work or induce huge debts for their family by gambling/overspending etc.

    I like ambitious men and would not really prefer to have children with a man who does not have any kind of proper future plans (education, work). I want best for my children and that is not living off welfare benefits in some ugly city area in a government-subsided apartment. Well, I am educated too, so I think I do not demand too much.

  3. I totally agree with you!
    I knew its in our blood. Its between animals as researches showed..

    I agree that only looser men talk bad about girls who have rich men who give them cars, gifts, money.. Because they cant.. Its sounds like excuses..

    Same girls who are jelous on pretty, rich girl in expensive car.. Saying she problably sucked some old man good.. But reallt think they would do same if they had any chance for that lol

    I was same first thinking when frienda nect to mine commented such girls.. But now im on oposite side..

    I now wish i had such man, i wish i was so pretty so good body and so smart to find places and to get rich men attention instead of living 10 years with man who cant provide me i wish for..

    If i would need again choose a man.. I would go for money instead of poor love..

    U can find love anywhere.. If ur mood is good ur fed, rested etc ur heart be open for love too 🙂

  4. This is my first time on your blog and I absolutely love it! I, too, have read The Female Brain and some of Buss’ other work and it has really shifted my mindset on the gold digger debate. I tended to look down on gold diggers and money-oriented women until I took a course on Evolutionary Psychology. We need women to support one another and not be so extremely judgmental.


  5. I love your post. Based on my own life experiences… I will tell you from age 16-25 (almost a decade) I was in 2 serious relationships. All about 4.5 years each. I thought I was in love … Because they were edgy or cool or whatever. Path. I spent 6 of the 9 years of my life paying for everything in these relationships. I happily paid for our meals, their gasoline for their cars, helped them buy clothes, paid for their haircuts.. Etc. I loved taking care of them, even though I was young and stupid and not realizing that they were simply lazy and terrible. They didn’t treat me well. They were unmotivated and rude and demanding. I mean, yes.. Each of these loser relationships were with “hotties.” But just fucking awful lameasses now that I know better.

    … How did I waste so many of my beautiful years on foolish boys who did not appreciate me? I did everything I could to support them and love them. I got nothing in return.

    .. Which leads me to my point. After finally saying Enough is enough! And ending it… A year after being single- I met a man who I worked for at a new job. He was so kind, courteous, smart, and hilarious. Not to mention tall, dark, and handsome…. Not to mention a multi-millionaire.
    We worked together for a long time before we went out for our first date. I’ve been with him for 3 years now. He provides me with happiness, love, emotional support, and yes, he pays for my whole life. I take care of our home, it is immaculate. I make all of our meals from scratch, and I help make his life as happy and easy as possible. We are such a team, it’s amazing. I actually plan to spend my life with him.

    .. Yet, I have still been called a gold-digger!! It’s like.. I wasted so many years of my life paying for men. My motives were never money. .. So then God sends me this amazing man to finally take care of ME. Our relationship is so wonderful and I spend everyday and every night with him. I would consider that a real relationship, not a gold digger!!

    Oh well, I truly can’t ever imagine going back to a broke ass unmotivated guy. You just see that people with money are usually more driven in life in general, why not want to surround yourself with that? … As opposed to the people who are too comfortable, and never advance or grow?

  6. Ugh! I hate when my tablet autocorrects. I was supposed to say “PSHH!” When speaking of paying for all the men’s stuff. Not “Path.”

  7. Agree completely. I want a man that can support the family financially and be the bread winner. ..and so I got that.
    In return I look after the man and family and support his business and identity as a public figure and help him look good to the public eye.

    Too many years I was the breadwinner and when I realised I cant do everything (breadwinner and work and be wife) and be happy, I decided I wanted a man that could look after me while I look after family.
    If you are open about it, and the man knows what you are looking for, it’s not a gold digger. I told my man from the beginning. I want the man to be the breadwinner. I dont want to be the breadwinner anymore. I want to have family and help my man in his business and support him and be looked after.
    I am very lucky that I have this. It wasnt until I turned 36 that I was smart and put that out there. Before I did too much.

    Why on earth would anyone choose a man that struggles financially and cannot support the family. (I did!! ) A REAL man wants to support a family. Period.
    There are no points in life for a woman to do all and support the man also. I tried it. Then I learnt and reached my 30s and decided. No.

    So I hope all women find a man that can look after her, as she will honour and look after him!

  8. I think everybody should stop judgment on other people’s relationships and arrangements and worry about themselves. Using people I feel is generally wrong; but if two adults have this kind of arrangement it’s their decision not yours. Men over the years have used women for objects and sex; but if a women gets financial benefits from a man she’s label a whore? That’s so wrong on many levels.

  9. I have husbant who has expensive taste.
    I work hard to be able give him n myself clothes n car and house hr wants..

    Im tired. I wish to have man to take care of me n have luxury life without me working..

    Or to have simple life with a man who knows his place and not say he wants porche and dress in LV, gucci… While earning just 2k € a month.. He thinks he can aford it all but when i explain he cant without me he says that anyone would dream be with him n he can aford him all that byhimdelf if he lived alone..

    Somethimes i think how would be if i would take other road.. But think im stuck forever cause we have children..
    Im scared stay alone n for me stability is most important..

    But if we fight then it is for money only.. Hes big spender n i try not to waste it.. He gets upset if i ever say him NO..

    If we have more kids ill leave work.. But i dont like idea of me not having own money and independence..

    Anyway ill need be good n not say anything about his behaivor with his 2k selaray if i not work.. Act i love him..

    Then why not to do the same for someone who would earn not just 2k month and act as a King but be with real king who earns 20k a month..?

    • I’m sorry to write this to you but in my humble opinion you should divorce. From what you have described here, you have taken on the role of a man in your marriage- providing everything for your husband. I would understand if he would be temporarily out of work or something like this but he is demanding that you provide designer clothes and Porsche for him??? You, yourself appear to be confessing here that you are not happy in the current situation. Try and find opportunities to exit this marriage, if you’re not happy. I personally, don’t consider this type of arrangement normal in a marriage and he strikes me as having narcissistic traits if he says to you that you are lucky to have him and pay his way. Like huh?? I personally wouldn’t want to go near such a man and I know quite a lot of others girls wouldn’t want to either. Sorry, but you’re not lucky to have him, he is lucky to have you and should appreciate you! Your female-male roles are totally reversed.

    • Sounds like he’s taking advantage of you, and trying to keep it that way by implying that you need him.
      As for not leaving because of the children, I understand that you may not want to stress them out or anything that comes with divorce, but if you will be happier by leaving your husband, hence will be happier around your children and this rubs off on them. Continuing a negative marriage sends negative energy to the children. Just something you may want to think about. You are a strong woman, I wish you the best.
      Also what would happen if you suddenly stopped providing these luxury goods for him?

  10. I love discussing this topic. However, the discussion always gets so heated and there’s is always someone who lacks understanding and is set in their ways which is disappointing.

    I totally agree with you here, women for too long have been criticised for wanting the best for themselves and their potential future children. If they didn’t want this it would show that they don’t care about their life or the health and education of their children.

    This might be a bit off topic but….
    In today’s society, being a young adult myself, I hear a lot of girls, including my friends, wanting to be independent women who work. This is great, but I find that now as it is becoming more common for young girls to want to work, that they look down upon women who don’t have the same aspirations as them, who want to look after the family instead. I think there’s 3 types of women; one who focuses on career only, one who looks after the family primarily, and one who dabbles in both. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with either one. One role is not below the other. I hate it when women think that other women who choose to take care of the family are lazy because they do not work. It’s still a hard and time-consuming job!

    I personally, haven’t decided what road I want to take, however when I do I would appreciate it if women who have chosen different paths are more understanding towards each other and don’t judge me.

    Lastly, I definitely won’t be dating any man who does not have a decent income, or is not financially responsible. Under any circumstances. To me that seems stupid; why would I put myself in such a difficult position? I do enjoy the finer things in life, and I want to have a nice house and the resources to send my children to a good school and travel. I have a better chance at this if a shoot for a man who has more money. Also men who do have money tend to be ambitious and hardworking which are attractive traits. So what’s not to love?

    Sending peace and love xxx 🙂

  11. This is a very interesting topic. I would personally never pay for the upkeep of a man but then again I come from a very traditional background where the roles of women and men are also very traditional eg the man is the main breadwinner in the family. I have noticed that in Western Europe there are many men who sort of expect that the woman pay for them- this is a very strange concept for me. I don’t personally have anything against women who pursue a career and independence, I think it’s great that these days women have a choice in life- if they want to be independent or they want to be more focused on the family or have both. And I don’t think there is right or wrong, it’s all about personal preference and choice. I think the real problem is that there a growing population of men who are not manly anymore, consequently, these are also the men who often complain about women who choose to be more family oriented and look for a strong, responsible man who is happy to provide for a family. Often insecure men call girls with this type of preference in life gold diggers.

    • I agree with you here Gracie. It certainly does have something to do with culture. I have found that sometimes, not always, that the western men find the Eastern European girls ‘gold diggers’ because they desire a man who can provide, but of course this is usually only because of the more traditional culture.

      • Oh the famous “russian/ eastern european gold-digger” cliché. I am Eastern European myself (Estonia) and worked and studied in London for quite a few years and unfortunately I sometimes came across people with this mentality towards Eastern European women. I have often wondered where this image of Eastern European women being gold- diggers comes from? I understand that there are women from Eastern Europe who solely go to Western Europe in order to find themselves a rich husband but there are also many Eastern euros who are not interested in solely finding a wealthy husband and are actually really hard-working people who focus on career etc. I, for instance, concentrated on my studies and in my free time I was always working. Of course, I also wish to have a family one day and I do look for certain qualities in a man, such as being responsible and I would personally not wish to become the main breadwinner for the family but for me compatibility with the other person is also important rather than solely the thickness of his wallet. I could not be with a man only because he is wealthy. During my time in London I met many Western European women who were a lot more focused on finding a rich husband than I have ever been! A German girl was hunting down potential rich husband material with this crazy German functionality and precision, yet, you never hear a term – “German gold-digger” , do you? She was also the type of woman who would send his rich husband straight to the cleaners, if he would make one wrong move and didn’t seem to care much about the family as a unit. I sometimes wonder if this eastern euro gold-Digging term has actually developed because some Western European men and women are just insecure?

        • True, it’s a nasty stereotype not often true. Quite unfair. Maybe the Western Europeans developed this term and continue to use it to make themselves appear better than the Eastern Europeans? A way to categorise themselves as the ‘better’ Europeans? Everyone always has this need to classify people, trying to give themselves certainty in who they think they are.

          I find the term ‘gold digger’ rude to use and personally never try to call anyone this name; I find it an uncultured thing to do. If people were more educated culturally, they wouldn’t use it so freely.

  12. People think just by default, that every bautiful woman is a gold-digger just because she is attractive enouth to be. And that happens everywhere. I am from Eastern Europe and I also think and have always said, that I appreciate a rich man for his qualities, for his stamina and brains and I expect him to take care of everything money-related. Even if I work, I wanna be able to not to.

    “There are types of women who want the man to take care of everything related to money so that she can focus on other things like family, home etc. What’s wrong with that?” I think because nowadays almost every woman thinks she is beautiful enough to get it and even if she is not, she reads articles about how money change and improve almost everything, so she starts to think: “Why not? If she can, I can get it too! I am worth it!” And the world doesn`t validate her opinion about herself so she becomes angry and bitter. She goes out with men and non of them seems enough of a good for a woman of her level.. Or even if she founds one, after the first strike of passion pass, she is overwhelmed by regrets and starts nagging him why he is not this or that… He seems to her so imperfect and she feels like she deserves so much more. She had felt like he is going to change, but he`s still the same, so she is getting angrier and angrier with herself but mostly with him, cause it`s easier. In coclusion – one day he`s so sick he leaves, or she leaves him or start cheating, looking for someone better. Of course it`s the same or worse, cause now she is older and with a child… “Damaged good”. In result our society creates children with no family, with divorced, unhappy parents who lack of love and attention and grow-up afficionating the objects and looking for joy and security in them. So it`s a vicious cicle I think.

  13. Financial security is a start. Women and men should seek more from each other. Many unhappy spouses are married to millionaires. Men and women should be united. Seek a partner who is a friend, lover and a business partner. We can be richer when our needs are met.

  14. I think the biggest difference between women who might identify as sugar babies and trophy wives vs women who are called gold diggers is transparency. A sugar baby, trophy wife or affluent girlfriend is open and clear about her motives…what ever they might be. A gold digger would never admit that they are financially motivated.

    Being called a gold digger is more than just being accused of being financially motivated. Being called a gold digger is also being called a liar, a user, a manipulator. Lot’s of women openly seek financial arrangements, but they are not gold diggers. Some one who who is actually a gold digger wants their wealthier partner to believe it is 100% about love. They would never suggest an arrangement or that money might be important to them in a partner.

Leave A Reply

FREE CHEAT SHEET: How To Look Expensive

I've gathered all the boxes you MUST tick if you want to look classy and high-end! Add your email to receive this cheat sheet & choosing outfits will now get so much easier!