What you may read now is an angry post, written by me. But I’ve watched the Millionaires’ Ex-Wives Club documentary on BBC, and it provoked some strong emotions in me that I feel I need to let out by writing this post.
(If you’re not in the UK, you can see the documentary on this link)
I recommend watching this documentary; it’s good to be aware of how it’s not always “happily ever after” when you marry a wealthy man. I’m not going to dig deeper into the content of the documentary, but I want to raise a thought that kept going into my head over and over again as I was watching this program.
How being a woman is a more difficult karma, than being a man.
I know that some of the things I’m about to say, my sound a bit cliché, but please understand that being a man, is nothing in comparison.
Why being a woman is more difficult than being a man:
■ We give birth, and it hurts like hell
■ We go through a 9 month long, sometimes painful process of pregnancy
■ We have hormones constantly messing with our heads and emotions; we’re not always ourselves due to that
■ Once a month we bleed for a week, and for some of us our periods can be very painful
■ We are more objectified for our bodies and our looks than men
■ We get more often sexually used and abused than men
■ We run a higher risk of domestic violence than men, and we often have less ability in physical self-defense
■ We earn less money for the same type of job as men
■ We run a higher risk of not getting hired for a job if the employer suspects we might soon be starting a family
■ The amount of time we have to spend on taking care of our looks, to even “classify as being a woman” is far beyond the time men invest in their looks
■ We go through menopause and all the hormonal disruptions and side effects that come with it
■ We are only fertile for a limited period in our life, meaning we can miss out on our chance to start a family because of our age
■ We are the primary caregivers to our children meaning we often take the most significant sacrifices in life as a result
■ If we have a family, we either have to give up (or put on hold) our career, or we have to do double time, meaning trying to balance family, home, and career, while men mainly take responsibility for their careers.
■ We have a limited amount of time when we are the most desirable to men and when we hit a certain age, we might get exchanged for a younger woman. On top of it, after a certain age it gets difficult finding men interested in you as they often times want younger women.
Some samples from “Why it sucks being a woman” written by an angry Anna Bey.
I hope you guys can understand that some parts I’ve exaggerated with my frustration, especially the last part. But watching this documentary just made me so incredibly enraged.
I disrespect all these men who marry a woman, start a family with her, live with her for many years, and then because she is not as young and pretty anymore, exchange her for a younger version. It makes me truly sick to my core the behavioural pattern of these men, and unfortunately, they are freaking everywhere these days!
They are so common – especially in the jet-set world – that they have now become a cliché. Hearing about, yet another story, “he left his wife for his mistress” just makes me want to give up on the entire male population. Who are these men? What’s wrong with them? Don’t they have any values or respect towards their partners?
I am angry, and I will allow myself to be so in this post. I’m just tired of being a woman and always have some shit against us. I’m tired of having to deal with all the genetical crap that God already has given me, and on top of it, running a high risk of being thrown to the dogs by the person I love, just because I age and I’m not as sexy anymore.
Now I know not all men do this, and God forbid if this would actually happen in my relationship, with my boyfriend or husband. But the scary part is that you never know. You can never be certain who you pick even if you feel very confident with your choice.
I’m sure many of these women picked their men wisely. It all started great, they were madly in love, and they would never have guessed that this would happen.
With some playboy type wealthy men, you can kind of expect them to cheat and abandon you after a while because you take them for what they are. But there are so many great and down to earth men that do this which is why I get frustrated and angry. I simply don’t get it…
And now to the second, but so important part of the documentary.
Men who refuse to give away 50% of their accumulated earnings and posessions during their married years, to the woman after divorce.
Men who truly think that the woman is NOT entitled to his money.
Excuse me? Is that right to claim that women must have a full-time career, raise kids, take care of the household and on top of it always look amazing and take care of their man, otherwise it’s her own fault she ends up pennyless?
Now that’s unfair in my opinion.
I certainly think women have the right to half of the accumulated income and assets of the man after a divorce. Women are busy with everything behind the scenes to make his life happen:
Raising kids for 18 years per head, taking care of the household, giving the man the emotional support he needs in his stressful life, taking care of her looks so that her man still finds her attractive and doesn’t leave her and so on. Some Super Women even manage to fit a full-time career in, and that’s just so much more than the man does, or he would ever be able to do. But being a super woman is unfair, why should the woman have 3 full-time jobs while the man only has one?
So when men come and claim that women do nothing and they are not entitled to “his” wealth, it makes me furious. The money might be coming into his account and managed by him – but as his wife, this money is equally hers because she does everything around it so that he can even focus on accumulating this money!
Girls, having said all this I hope you understand that sometimes being a woman, you just get enough of the unfairness. I know we are strong and we shouldn’t sit and whine about it, but sometimes it becomes too much.
And I feel for these women in the documentary and women in similar positions, and I really hope none of us end up like this one day. Be as smart as possible in your life, try to have money on your own. And if you can’t, then make sure you’ll be able to hire some top lawyers if shit hits the fan. Always put money aside!