Through quite some time I have been researching the reasons behind the differences between men and women. There are all kinds of books, trainings and techniques to help us better understand each other.
However, more often than not I hear my girlfriends complaining that their men don’t hear, understand or speak the “language” of a woman. And in return, they might mistreat their men. So how do we stop the vicious circle?
If we are talking about basic instincts, we can look at a relationship in the following way. For a man, the physical desire almost always comes first and he subconsciously has the drive to impregnate as many females as possible. For the male, beautiful and desirable woman is basically the same thing.
Therefore, females try to look more beautiful and healthier to become more desirable. Women often exaggerate their hips, which give a subconscious message of an excellent child-bearing structure, and their breasts, as a signal of a woman in good health capable of successfully bear and raise children.
However, a woman can project the consequences of choices into the future as she subconsciously chooses a partner with the best possible genes for her offspring, and the best chance for survival as well as passing on those genes to further offsprings.
Therefore, for a woman, the criteria for sexual desire in a man are such strengths as intelligence, money, power, and status. A woman may desire a physically attractive man, but she will be intimate with him only after he has satisfied more than physical criteria, which proves him to be an alpha male. If a man is strong and a provider, the woman feels safe and can relax trusting her man.
That helps her to concentrate on being a great support for her man along with bearing children and creating a loving relationship and home.
However, if a woman doesn’t feel safe and unprotected by masculine energy, she will adapt and become or behave manly, in other words, her feminine energy contracts and she starts to survive and protect herself.
This is subconscious and written in our DNAs as part of our basic instincts. So be careful with an ultra-feminist approach as it can take you in the direction you might not want to go.
Furthermore, there are more reasons for our differences. Luckily for us, we are living in a world where scientists constantly make new discoveries about the world around us, including human beings.
In fact, there are scientifically proven explanations of how male and female brains work, which cleared a lot for me. For example, women utilize 10 times more white matter than men, while men utilize 7 times more grey matter than women. Therefore, women are great at multitasking and can switch faster from one task to another, while men succeed by deeply engaging in one project.
So if your man is occupied with some activity and is not listening to you while you’re speaking, is not because he doesn’t care, but might be as a result of men being less likely to multitask or notice their surroundings.
There is also a difference in our brain chemistry and the way female and male brains are built. For instance, men tend to be more impulsive and aggressive because of testosterone, while women are better at bonding because of processing more oxytocin, a bonding chemical.
In addition, women tend to sense more with their 5 senses throughout a day due to a higher density of neural connections into the hippocampus or human memory center, and overall use more words to describe a story or feeling as their verbal centers are located on both sides of the brain.
Men have fewer verbal centers and they are located only on the left hemisphere. Therefore, overall men are less likely to talk about feelings, emotions and senses.
The reason why women contemplate and revisit emotional memories more than men, is because of more blood flow throughout the woman’s brain. In general, men tend to briefly ruminate, somewhat analyze an emotive memory and then proceed with the next task. They also might prefer occupying themselves with an active task rather than analyzing their feelings at all. However, this doesn’t mean that men are avoiding their feelings, their brain is just functioning differently.
I have already spoken about the law of attraction, and another way of looking at male and female differences in the energetic level.
Remember a quote by Nikola Tesla;
“If you want to find the secrets of the universe, think in terms of energy, frequency and vibration.”?
Everything around us and inside of us is energy, however, the energetic balance is the key. Every day we are involved in continuous energy transactions, which come in a way of thoughts, conversations, relationships, etc. Even our bodies give us some clues about how we should give and receive.
The energetic exchange
The outstanding parts of our bodies project specific energy, which is meant to be received by our partner.
▸ For example, the male reproductive system is giving and the woman reproductive system is receiving. In this case, a man gives a woman stamina, physical strengths, and reproduction on the Root Chakra level.
▸ A woman, on the other hand, gives a man sexual energy, connection, joy, and intimacy through her Sacral Chakra, and that is why woman’s belly is not as flat as man’s.
▸ Next, a man gives a woman protection, safety, abundance, comfort, and emotional and financial stability through his Solar Plexus Chakra.
▸ A woman gives her man unconditional love, emotional support, and spontaneity through her Heart Chakra, and her breast are also the key here.
▸ Through his Throat Chakra (and Adam’s apple) man transcends energy to his woman in a form of respect, status, appreciation and freedom to express herself.
▸ A woman gives her man vision, ideas, intuition, belief in future plans through her Third Eye Chakra.
▸ On the level of Crown Chakra, there is an equal exchange, where the man gives a woman mental strengths while the woman gives the man spiritual guidance.
If the chakras are working correctly, we create a balance in energies receiving experience each of us is lacking.
So dear ladies, next time when you start complaining about the differences between men and women, remember, we are not meant to function in the same way. Be sure you choose your man wisely and then take a proper care of him.
“A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
A successful woman is one who can find such a man.”
– Lana Turner