At this temporary stage in my life, my income is extremely limited, and the men I’ve been dating have always been earning x100000000000 more than me – so I think it’s kind of common sense that the person who earns the most, should pay (regardless gender) if you are seeing each other.
That day I’m making loads of money, or at least as much as my partner, I’m happy to also pay for things, as I enjoy treating people generously when I afford. But for that to happen, I need to have money. I’m still working on it, as I’m just at the beginning of my career (#latebloomer), but my dream is to get there one day. (And I will! Girlpower!)
In fact, I’m actually looking forward to that day when I have enough money, to surprise my boyfriend by booking a spontaneous trip somewhere (on my expense) or buying him a beautiful watch (with my own money!!). It would really make me happy, but unfortunately, I’m far from there at the moment, but one day I’m aspiring to be, and I can’t wait for it! That’s honestly how I feel, and it’s one of my main motivations in my daily work…
So this debate whether women should pay or not is an individual question.
I don’t think women are obliged to pay because how our traditions are set and how unfair the society is for women as it is, I think it’s only fair, (in the unfairness), that men for once have to carry some burden. It’s challenging as it is being a woman and carrying the heaviest burdens God has given us, so cut us some slack at least when it comes to finances!
On top of it, we spend so much money on our appearance, just to look good for the men, that’s why I think they can at least spend a bit on the dinner and the travel. I don’t think we’re asking for much….
But about the question on how to make a man provide for you, I think it’s really up to three things.
1. Pick an experienced jet-set man
The category of men in the jetsetting environment is versatile. You have everything and everyone! You have the millionaire and billionaire who is experienced to his teeth and knows exactly what women want and how to pamper them. Then you also have the less experienced types (they might be the secret millionaire type of guy), and that’s when we move on to number two… (See below)
2. If he doesn’t get it, tell him! (..or show him)
This is what Russian women are very good at, telling exactly what they want and how they like it, without caring what the recipient thinks of it.
If you want him to provide for you, he needs to know it. Many times, men are not aware of how the jetset world works! I would say half of the wealthy men are just “ordinary Joe’s” who are not used to the jetset environment. They are just normal guys with loads of money who have been too focused on growing their career and not mingling too much with JetsetBabes, to learn that what a woman of this caliber wants.
You, therefore, must be straight-forward with him, no matter how uncomfortable it feels, telling him that “it’s important for you to be with a man who takes care of things and is generous.” I personally don’t think a woman should say anything more than that, just let him process that information, and you take it from there.
If he argues with you, it’s a bit of a warning sign that he is either stingy or not on the level where you want your man to be. And please note, this is not some golddigger talk here ladies! It’s about being honest about what’s important for you because there is nothing shameful to have generosity on your priority list. This society is already shaming women and judging us for caring about finances and materialism, but don’t let that control you.
One more thing though… Some men really get put off when women are straightforward about what they want. If you feel that could be the situation, then the best method to go about it is to “show him” what you want rather than saying it out loud. Such thing could be, pointing something out when you’re out and about “window shopping,” saying that you are hoping to buy X when you finally afford and so on…
3. But it’s also about give and take…
I’m not talking about a sexual give and take here. But if you’re expecting to receive, then you should give something in return.
The world does not evolve “men owing you” and you “expect things without giving back anything.” I personally don’t like it, even though I’m very much Pro receiving. I make sure I give so much emotional value as possible to my man. I give him attention, my gratitude and my warmth (without being too much of course.) I think it’s the most important to tell you the truth. If you don’t give anything (it’s always free to give him your love), then I don’t think you should expect to get anything either. It’s not just a one-way street here… Be generous with your female energy, men love it!
In a world where men try to control women by labeling them “gold diggers” for whatever reasons, I will forever encourage women to communicate their desires to men, to fight back in this unfairness!
If you have materialistic and financial desires, you have all the rights to have that, just as much as men have the right to their sexual desires. Don’t ever let anyone make you feel bad about it! Don’t let anyone control you! Just be fair, humble and practice give&take, the universe will reward you!