I don’t fully agree when people say they don’t care about what people think about them. I’ve gone through both phases in my life, one that cared a lot about opinions, and one that didn’t. None of them were very beneficial to me, but the period where I didn’t care was the least successful phase in my life. More about that later.
Today I’ve found a healthy balance, where I have understood the importance of sending the right message across to others. Without being obsessed or lead by peoples’ opinions, I take in to account how I want to portray myself and what I will reap as a result.
It’s natural for us, humans, to communicate to one and another in this way. Our brain functions in a way that to quickly scan and assess something, it has to generalize the object. To understand the object, it has to classify the information by jumping to conclusions.
Let’s say we look at a table, the brain will generalize the information of what it is seeing, and we conclude that what we see is a table. We can read our environment in a fraction of seconds thanks to our brain processing the information in this “judging” way.
The same goes for how we read each other. The first 10 seconds when you meet someone new, carries out a lot of information to your brain. It’s fully normal that we build an impression of one and other this way and it’s not something we can change.
How we look is, therefore, a tool of communication, and it plays an important role. But the emphasis is not on “how good you look,” but “how your looks position you”. There is no right and wrong, but you must decide what statement you wish to make. Unfortunately, you can’t “not” leave a statement; everyone has to, so it’s up to you to use this form of communication wisely.
To go back to the beginning, this is the reason why I care about what people think. Like I said, I don’t get hung up on it or let it control me. But I take I the message I communicate with others into account. I know that I will never be liked or approved by everyone, but that’s not the point either. The point is to feel that my looks are a fair representation of myself and who I am. Not everyone will get my message, but many will judge me according to how I position myself. The power lays in my hands.
When I had an attitude of “not caring” about what people thought and dressed in ways that were not beneficial to me, I reaped the negative effects as a result. Some people don’t mind these effects and continue to “not care.” I learned quickly that I can’t change the human brain and how it functions, so it’s better I learn how to navigate it to my own benefit instead of trying to change the unchangeable. So I changed my attitude and began to care on a healthy level, and life adjusted positively as a result.
I see far too many women who do the mistake of not taking in to account what overall message they send across. As an addition, they rarely seem to understand why they have no success in specific areas of life. Surely, it’s not only due to the person looks (looks are only one part), but it does play a significant role. How you dress is so important!
So what do your clothes say about you?
Think about this everytime you get dressed from now on.
When you go shopping and buy something new, ask yourself if this garment is aligned with the message you wish to send out to others.
How do you want to position yourself?
What category do you want people to file you under?
You can pick and choose; the selection is endless! Just think that some of them will have more benefits and some will have less, what benefits are important to you?
What goals do you have in your life?
How can your looks communicate the right message so that they end up benefitting your goals?
How are your looks aligned with your personality?
The most important is to be yourself after all…
I find this topic to be fascinating, and my book “How To Be Classy” is built on my interest in how humans assess each other. I understood after many experimenting years both in the jet-set world and the “real world” that being classy is one of the most beneficial ways how a woman can position herself as. If you play it right, the world becomes your oyster.
Some of the benefits I’ve noticed:
- You attract more quality, high-standard men if you are single
- You reap more success in your professional life
- You find it easier to make new connections
- Your reputation grows, and you will get more opportunities
- Life is generally treating you better!
So if you wonder why I’m promoting “being classy” so much on my blog, it’s for this simple reason. Your looks are your communication so use it wisely. Be clever in your life. After all, I’m all for goal setting, and I want all my readers to succeed with their dreams. Act smart and you’ll see life will deliver as a result.