Why is the grass always greener on the other side? Why do we always chase the next best thing? Why does the hunt creep higher and higher in $$$, where we never seem to get satisfied?
The feeling of “not having or being enough” is a phenomenon familiar to all of us.
I do see this a lot in the jet-set world particularly, and I think many of us in here can relate. We become picky about our men because we want the richest man with the highest status. We want the most lavish lifestyle possible, and we believe that our life path involves luxury and five-star treatments. Many of us could never settle for less.
Being ambitious is a good thing. Knowing your worth too. But sometimes we shoot ourselves in the foot when we become obsessed with our ambitions and end up missing out on life meantime. I’ve seen women miss out on great relationships (because he wasn’t rich enough) or lose good friends (because they weren’t jet-set enough) or make decisions they later regretted (because something was not good enough for them).
Everyone can always have more, do better, be richer and more glam. But why do we want it so badly? Is it our need to keep up with the Joneses or is it because it becomes a validation of how we feel about ourselves?
Owning a Hermes Birkin, does that make you a somebody?
Getting invited to all the upscale private events, does that make you a somebody?
Dating a billionaire and take part in his luxurious life, does that make you a somebody?
Knowing all the “It-people” and being constantly photographed in the right places, does that make you a somebody?
It certainly makes you feel good about yourself.
There is nothing wrong with these examples. But I think many of us have perceptions of “how it should be” when we feel that we are a somebody. We let the outer world define us, and that’s when the destructive path starts.
I know this path so well because I’ve been there once. Perhaps it’s a normal thing most of us go through at a certain age or point in life. Unfortunately, I’ve noticed some women get stuck and never leave this phase. This form of self-validation can become very addictive, if not, take over you completely.
Luxury, status, materialism and all that glamour are fun – if it’s kept as something fun! When you make it a must-have in your life, that’s a sign that something more important is missing from your life. Let it be true love, a strong sense of self-worth or anything that feeds your soul to the point that you don’t need to feed it superficial things to stay happy.
The best feeling in the world is not when you reach yet another jet-set milestone in your life. You might become temporarily excited about it, but it will never give you genuine happiness.
Instead, letting go of all the superficial attachments will create room to become more at peace with yourself. It will teach you to validate yourself through more healthy ways and cut with all obsessions that only generate unfulfillment in you. Having good and loving relationships in your life will feed your soul, let it be your family, friends, kids or partner. When the most fundamental needs of you as a human gets met, that’s when the glitz and the glam stop being so important. You will feel complete.
But to reach that point, one has to be open for it. The obsessions must be cut. You can have all the love in your life, but you won’t see it if your focus is elsewhere. Your obsessions won’t allow you to be available for it.
View this post on Instagram
Hoje é aniversário da minha amiga mais maluquinha sim talvez com certeza! @ricademarre 🎈❤️ Quem a conhece não imagina que ela já tem 30 anos, e muito menos que tem um filho adolescente maior que ela! Hahahaha! 💝 Amo nossa amizade! Amo falar besteiras, comer besteiras, e fazer besteiras com vc! Kkkkkkk! Somos duas crianças juntas! 👯♀️ Obrigada por ser de verdade, pelas viagens, os conselhos, todo tempo juntas, poxa.. Não mude o seu jeito! Love u! 💘
None of this is of any news to us, but sometimes we need a reminder. Sometimes it’s easy to get off track when all you see around you is how everyone seems to be living perfect lives, so you start questioning your own.
But remind yourself, real happiness does not come from external sources, it comes from within you. So nurture what really matters and cut with any form of obsessions. Only then will you be content, because the grass is only green if you take care of your own garden.