How to Socialise in High Society

marialitti sitting at a table

@marialitti

For people who aren’t used to high society, having a conversation with a millionaire or billionaire can seem extremely daunting at first. You might wonder what to talk about, especially if you don’t know them. You might also wonder how to behave around them.

Having conversations with wealthy people will always be a bit awkward because their status can feel intimidating at first. The truth is, these people are as normal as anyone else and the conversation topics don’t necessarily need to be grand.

Wealthy people often have very good knowledge about the following topics: politics, international affairs, business, currency, fine dining, wine and alcohol, cigars, cars, yachts, private jets, travel, football, art, theatre and opera.

It’s good to have at least some basic knowledge on these topics, but nobody expects you to be a leading expert in all fields. In fact, unless you are raised in high society circles, being a know-it-all might come across as a bit too much.

viktoriiaiakubovska having a lunch with her friends

@viktoriiaiakubovska

But the worst is pretending you know more than you actually do.

This is probably one of the biggest mistakes beginner elegant ladies make. They feel insecure and want to act confidently and with class so they start acting overly educated about certain topics.

This is very easy to see through, especially for the millionaire/billionaire types who are used to show offs. I’ve been in groups where a new person has been very arrogant about their knowledge and it ended up with people laughing about them behind their back.

Do not try too hard.

Be natural and never pretend you know more than you do. If you are very confident in a particular subject, feel free to speak passionately about it, as that’s often very appreciated. Never brag and act like you know it all. Remember, being part of this circle will ultimately better your lifestyle.

evgeniyatarletskaya with a glass of wine

@evgeniyatarletskaya

If you are about to get to know someone in high society, be prepared for the following questions:
– Where are you from?
– Where do you live?
– Where did you grow up?
– What’s the typical dish of your country?
– Any question about your country including politics or comments about the weather.
– What do you do for a living?
– What did you study?
– Where do you usually go out at night?
– What is your favourite food or restaurant?
– How do you know someone in the group?
– Have you ever been to XXX country?
– Do you follow football?

These are pretty standard questions and nothing to be intimidated about. If you’re lost for conversation starters, you can always refer to this list for ideas. Once you get a few questions rolling, it’s easy to jump on to other topics and get to know each other a little bit better.

affluent people at a dinner party

If there is a group conversation going on, topics may be more general and about politics, travel and football.

My suggestion is to follow the news and get an overview of what’s happening in the world.

Get a basic understanding of football teams, different types of wine, famous artists/art movements, who is who in politics, the best hotels/restaurants/places to go to and the hottest cars.

The more you listen to these conversations socially, the easier it will be for you to learn from them. In the beginning, listen and observe. Once you know your stuff, join in!

julia_kavalerova at a dining table

@julia_kavalerova

However, sometimes people like to put you in the spotlight with a question you have absolutely no idea about.

Let’s say they ask what your favourite wine is. You might have no clue about what’s considered good wine, especially if you usually pick the cheapest one in the store (never say that though).

Mind you, there might also be a follow up question, like “why do you like this particular wine”, so don’t shoot yourself in the foot too early.

Remember, you always have the right to say that you don’t know – but of course, you will feel a little bit dumb using that phrase unless you’re really desperate for a way out.

If you want to get out of the situation with no further judgement and without pulling the “I don’t know” card, here are some examples of what you can say to try and escape.

camimorais1 in a restaurant

@camimorais1

“Hmmm… I’m not sure I can decide to be honest. This one was tough! Which one is your favourite?”

Turning the question back around works. People also enjoy talking more about themselves than actually listening to others.

“I’m not really a wine drinker, so I’ll need to pass this one.”

“You know there was this wine I tried ages ago which totally blew me away (lie of course)… Hmmm… The problem is that I can’t remember what it was named as it was quite rare, but it was absolutely divine. If I remember, I’ll let you know”.

To pull these off, you’ll need to say it confidently and with some basic acting skills. Nothing sounds worse than obvious lies! The trick is to just act relaxed and elegant about it.

joansmalls at at dinner table with her friends

@joansmalls

Unless you are at a very formal gathering, the conversation will often be quite casual. Like I said in the beginning, these are just normal people. Jokes, exchange of opinions and passionate discussions are part of everyone’s social lives.

To be on the safe side, try to avoid following unless you know the circle really well:

– Don’t speak about racial or religious topics.

– Don’t lie, as it can always backfire.

– Think about what jokes you make. Some jokes are not always considered funny, even if you personally think so. yourself unless you really know the group.

– Keep extreme opinions to yourself.

– Don’t bring up very heavy topics that kill the vibe.

– Don’t sound too deep or too pretentious when you speak.

– Don’t use overly complicated words. Speak naturally and never curse.

– Don’t share any stories that might come across as too personal. It will become very awkward for everyone.

– Don’t ask a person you don’t know personal questions.

– Don’t take up too much space before you are familiar with the new group. Nobody likes when an outsider takes over too much.

– Don’t use the word “like” too often.

lucylascelles1 having breakfast with her friend

@lucylascelles1

How should I act to be accepted?

I’ve noticed over the years how some ladies become more popular with people thanks to their communication skills, confidence, elegance and good manners. Here is what you should do:

– You should be a good storyteller. People enjoy listening to other people’s stories, but you better know how to create a good build up.

– Crack a joke once in a while.

– Smile and laugh, it brings positive energy to the table.

– Ask questions, people love talking about themselves.

– Express your opinions but don’t go overboard. You shouldn’t be opinion-less as nobody thinks the “I don’t know” girl is fun.

– Don’t wait to interact with people or the group. Follow the conversation with interest. If you are passive and look bored, the chances are nobody will be interested in you.

– Be yourself. A cliché that always works.

dimavika on a terrace with wine glass

@dimavika

9 Comments

  1. Anon
  2. Carla
  3. Isabella
  4. Anonymous
  5. Anonymous
  6. steven
  7. goldenchain
FREE WORKSHOP10 Brutal Mistakes That Show You’re Not Elegant

...And How To Fix Them!

In this FREE 60-minute masterclass, you will get Anna’s best actionable tips, which will give you a head start to becoming the most elegant version of yourself.