To be lazy, or to do something with your life. That is the question…
Many women who enter into a relationship with an affluent man get comfortable in the abundance of wealth and end up doing nothing with their lives as a result. They become the “ladies who lunch” with daily errands like spa, shopping, mani-pedi and so on… Basically the stereotype of a trophy wife to a wealthy man.
I must admit, I feel sorry for the karma of us women. That nature designed the dynamic between men and women that women are the caregivers while men are the hunters. We are designed to be building a nest while the men are out on the battlefield, providing for us.
Being the sex who is always reliant on someone else is not always ideal. Especially not in our fast-changing society where traditional family values are becoming outdated. Couples are not staying together the way they used to, and divorce is becoming more common than a life-long partnership.
This is affecting women more negatively than it does the men. If we stay true to our gender roles (man = provider, woman = caregiver) us women are gambling with our long-term safety net.
Anytime, any moment the rug can be pulled underneath our feet and then we’re standing there, wondering what to do next.
Some women are legally bound to accumulate a percentage from their men, but that’s usually if you’re married and the man doesn’t hide his money in dodgy offshore companies when it’s time for divorce.
Some women think that because they are married, that they’re set for life. Sadly, it’s not always that easy. Legislations are different in different countries, prenups are made to protect the man and he can use dirty but efficient tricks to scam you. How many variations haven’t we seen to divorce cases and relationship break up’s where women get stranded bare feet?! Some walk out of the relationship exactly how they entered it – with nothing – and their men think it’s only fair.
I personally don’t think it’s fair. Men have one thing to think of in their lifetime and that’s providing for his family and offspring. Women have to pull the hardest load with everything from childbirth, to hormonal chaos, to have to be reliant on a man because she is the carrier and the caregiver and much much more. (In this post I’ve written a more detailed list of the unfairness)
Relationships are teamwork; half of the team is the man who deals with the $$$$. And the second half is the woman, dealing with the household and family duties. It’s how we’re structured and how God created us. Just because in the team the woman is not dealing hands-on with the finances, doesn’t mean she’s not entitled to it.
The same goes the other way around, women who think men are not entitled to see the kids after a split/divorce just because they came out of her. Equally unfair and selfish.
Going back to how the modern world is creating a tougher karma for women:
The reality is, this is the way it is at the moment and we can’t do anything about it.
We can’t change the biological laws and we can’t hope for men to man up and be fair; owning up to their part of the teamwork after a break-up. We can try and pick the kindest types possible who have a higher chance of being the better kind – or us women can create a safety net for ourselves.
Times are changing and so is the modern woman
Being a lady who’s mission in life is to only have lunch or SPA appointments might look all fancy and such. But it’s not so fancy when your partner is having an affair, and you’re too tied down in the relationship and can’t leave him because you’re so reliant on him financially.
Without him you have nothing, so you rather close an eye on it all. Sometimes you have to weigh between being homeless or being stuck in an unhappy relationship, so choosing the latter is the best you can do.
There will come a moment, however, where you will ask yourself;
What if I was doing something with my life instead of putting myself in this position from the beginning? What if my time could have been better spent in something that long-term would benefit me more than all those lunches, shopping trips, and spa appointments I did?
None of them brought my future any value, all they did was giving me a temporary entertainment fix while wasting my time. And what am I left with now? Nowhere to go.
So yes, the karma of women can be a B*tch. A total nightmare if not handled correctly. The world will always be unfair, and we’re always going to have to struggle more than men. I’m sure there’s a higher purpose for all of this, but the last thing we can do is to 1. act stupid 2. sit and complain about it (while doing nothing).
Instead, we can behave smart and make sure our life never has to go down the drain.
There is always the option for the woman to become self-made herself, to do something she’s passionate about with her life and to be self-sufficient if worst comes to the worst.
Remember how our parents always taught us about the importance of always saving for a rainy day?
It’s the exact same principle here.
Invest the time you have right now into something that will save you on a rainy day.
Get a career, a business, an education, – anything that you can fall back on without ever have to be reliant on someone else. Money is power, and power is independence.
Like someone once told me; “the most important thing in life is to have options. Like this, you will never be locked down to one option only, perhaps an option that you don’t want to choose.”
Create a life for yourself where there are endless opportunities. That will be the sweetest feeling of freedom. And no matter how much a man might hurt you, he will never make a fool out of you, because you’re in total control of yourself and your life.