While I’m travelling right now, I’m getting to understand myself on a deeper level.
Although life on the road is exciting with all it’s happenings and adventures, reality still remains the same – your life the way it truly is. No matter where you are on this planet, you can never escape from yourself. I try and do this at times, thinking the grass is greener on the other side. But it never is, because your life follows you wherever you go.
I’ve decided to continue do some serious work on myself and my life. I have moments where I feel a bit lost, when I lose focus, but I’m determined to not let go of what I’m here to do. I want to become better as a person. I want to grow. I want to resolve certain issues that are holding my inner potential back. I want to enter a more sustainable level of happiness. I want to heal myself. I want to heal my past. My relationships with family, ex and future boyfriends, and so on.
What I will be working on right now:
– I want to fully learn how to forgive. Letting go of infected childhood disappointments with parents. Nobody came to this earth to be perfect, so it’s time to let go of the expectations and just accept.
– I want to grow more confidence and self-esteem. To be able to do whatever I want to do, I need to really believe in myself. It’s not so easy, even for a person who seem quite confident like me. But we always have those little rotten seeds in us, giving us that ounce of disbelief, and that’s when we give up before trying, because we’re afraid of failure.
– I want to become less of a control freak. This might be one of the hardest cookies to crack, because taking control is the easiest escape of it all. But sometimes we need to simply surrender in life, letting things go to the hands of universe – and let destiny play it’s role.
– I need to continue work on my procrastination issues. This is a struggle. I get so easily distracted, and then my productivity runs on a level of slow motion. I want to accomplish so many things. But nothing will ever come out of it simply by talking about it. It’s all about getting down to business.
– I need to make peace with loneliness. Stop fearing it. Escaping in to “quick fixes” like friends, lovers, boyfriends will never resolve what brings up the loneliness from the beginning. I need to make friends with this daunting feeling. And accept, because it’s a natural state in life which we should not fear. It’s part of life at times.
This is only the tip of the iceberg. We are all on a very long journey ahead, a journey meant for healing and learning. The reason why I’ve decided I cannot escape my issues anymore, is because I’m really facing them right now while travelling on my own. And I guess it’s very healthy in many ways, even though it at times does not feel like a blessing. But it is. And only if we put our minds to it to fix ourselves, anything can happen. Only then will we reach another level in life, a level of bliss, where we can find true happiness. I really want to make a change this time. I will certainly give it my 100%. Thank you for sharing my path with me. <3