This is a very therapeutical exercise I recommend everyone to do. I must admit I had a tear falling down my cheek while writing this, as it’s very powerful bringing up a lot of emotions and memories. But still it’s a good way of letting go and a good exercise. What you do is simply writing a letter to your “child or teenage self”, approx 10-20 years back in time, giving advice on what you wish have known back then and lessons you learned since then.
Here is my letter.
To myself when I was 17 years old
Right now you’re in the middle of the cold winter in XXXX, you’re 17 and you have 1.5 years left until you’re officially free. I know you’re counting the days, I also know how sick and tired you are of school, your country and your life in general. But don’t see it all so black and white, you have so many years in front of you to be free, to explore the world and be whoever you’ll decide to be. Take this 1.5 year to enjoy it with your childhood friends, make the most out of your teenage years and spend as much quiet time at home with your family as possible – because believe me you will miss those days once you grow up and move to a completely different country.
I know you’ve recently stopped with all your extra curriculum activities and hobbies, but please can you do me a favor and start with them again? You will thank me later once you realize what a big part of your life they actually play and what a positive effect they have on you. Plus time will pass way faster until summer 2005 if you occupy yourself with fun things you’re actually passionate about. Sitting and day dreaming by the window will be a waste of time and you’ll regret you didn’t live life to the full when you could have.
The current lack of boys & party opportunities in your life is NOT something you should be stressed about. Believe me! It will all come and you’ll have so much of it (too much of it), you better let it wait a few more years but I know you wont. You think you’re missing out on life right now because all your friends are out and about (and you’re not), but those parties they go to are nothing compared to what you’ll experience in a few years. You will laugh about this situation once you’re a grown up and got to see the world outside the country where you live. Worry less darling!
…And boys… Haha, do I even need to get started?
Don’t obsess so much about relationships, you will have you’re entire life time to be in one. What you’ll only have once in your life are your golden years - your 20′s - which you should definitely not waste on a guy called XXXXX and another guy called XXXXXX.
These years you should dedicate only to exploring the world and exploring yourself. Because you have a strong need of freedom and being independent. Don’t lock yourself down with some losers (yes you will see them as complete losers once the pink clouds are gone) simply because you’re too scared of letting go. Letting go will be a constant battle for your in your life so start practicing early because it’s not as hard as you think it is. You just need to have more faith, and you will learn the older you become to more it all makes sense.
Also try and not to be so naive and fall in love that summer in Ibiza. It will just not be worth it. The cross road you will be standing by in the end of August, asking yourself what direction to take – don’t take the direction of following your boyfriend to his country. You’ll get stuck there for almost 4 years - AND IT WILL BE A COMPLETE WASTE OF TIME! Trust me on this one and just go with your original plan. You’re only 20 years old and life has barely started yet! So give less shit about boys and follow YOUR heart instead of someone else’s, YOU WILL THANK ME FOR THIS!
There will be many times in your life where you will be so fed up with your self,
your constantly strong emotional roller coaster rides, your sensitivity and all those weird thoughts coming from a place you don’t yet understand. You will start to understand yourself in exactly 10 years from now, but try and work on these negative aspects already if you can. Read books, explore the spiritual world and get a mentor who can give guidance in these fields.
The earlier you’ll master yourself, the less you’ll be sabotaging for yourself during your life. And if you could only know already how many days ahead you have in front of you, of worrying, stressing, obsessing and acting irrationally - for absolute no reason and simply caused by your own imagination - wow you’ll spare yourself so many headaches and tears darling! Do yourself this big favor, find inner peace, do it early – it will be the biggest benefit you could possibly invest in.
Before I end this letter I want to tell you that despite many mistakes, regrets and foolish acts, you’ve done pretty damn good in life! The person to thank is simply yourself. So believe in you, believe in the fact that from 10 years from now, you’ll be looking back on all the crazy stuff you’ve done – good and bad – you can be proud saying “well I’ve reached this far at least”. Life is about to really start for you, this was just a warm up, so take those lessons with you and make the best out of the time ahead.
With loads of love,